The Care Package Quandary
by NerdForestGirl
Summary: Set after the season seven finale. Amy starts receiving mysterious packages in the mail. One shot.


**A/N: Set after the season seven finale.**

* * *

"Sweetie, please call me back. I miss you and I want to make sure you are doing okay," Penny's voicemail said. It was the third one that she had left Amy that week, but Amy couldn't bring herself to call her friend back. Penny should be busy with her engagement anyway. Amy was busy... being Amy. She was alone without Sheldon.

It wasn't like Sheldon was the most caring person on the planet, but Amy was amazed at how lonely she felt without him. They had been becoming closer. They were kissing. He was finally giving her the affection that she deserved. Then... he just left.

Amy tried to understand why he left. She tried to understand how the man she loved could just leave her. How the changes in his life, like his best friend getting engaged and his problems at the university could mean that he needed to leave her behind. Amy decided to leave her apartment before she started crying again.

In the lobby of her building, Amy saw a package on the floor near the mailboxes and a slip stuck to her mailbox. Instead of the leaving the building, she went over and picked up the box addressed to her. There was no return address that Amy could see on the box, and she didn't order anything. She thought that maybe it was from Penny as an incentive to call her back.

Amy just went back upstairs after grabbing the rest of her mail. That looked like junk and a letter from her French pen pal. The box was much more interesting. She looked at it a bit more, and decided just to open it.

Amy gasped when she started pulling out the contents. On top was a box of her favorite tea. It wasn't fancy, but it was the kind she liked best. Then there was a Blu-Ray copy of _E.T._, which was the only movie she and Sheldon always agreed on watching. Amy was tearing up a little as she set that aside. Then there was a small bottle of body powder. It was Sheldon's brand.

That was the point where Amy just got mad and closed the box. Obviously this was a very cruel trick. Still, Amy brought the bottle to her nose and took a sniff. It smelled just like him. She cried and sat on the floor next to the box. There wasn't much left in it. Just some fabric, so Amy took the box and threw it across her apartment. It opened again and out fell a red t-shirt. It bore the symbol of _The Flash_. It looked just like something Sheldon would wear.

The Rogaine on her hands, being locked in the sauna, having all of her books stolen; none of it hurt half as much as the contents of that box. Amy had no idea who could have known her so well, but be so cruel. There was a piece of paper sitting on top of the t-shirt. Even though she knew she shouldn't, Amy crawled over to it and picked it up. It was a note with four words in handwriting that she knew almost as well as her own.

I'm sorry. Love, Sheldon

It was really his writing. Amy looked at the shirt a little closer and saw his name affixed to the label. The shirt was also a little worn. It was really his. She pulled the shirt on over her sweater. "This doesn't mean you are forgiven," she told Sheldon despite the fact that she had no idea where he was. He was cryptic the last time they had spoken, which had been a while. His calls had become less frequent.

Amy cleaned up the mess she made when she threw the box. Then she put everything but the shirt back into the box and put it in the corner. She didn't want to look at any of it. She tried to put it out of her mind. Even the t-shirt got folded and put under her pillow. She tried to pretend it wasn't there.

It started slowly with Amy forgetting to pick up the kind of tea she liked at the store. She debated going back to the store while she stared at the box in the corner that held the very same tea. Eventually, she just shrugged and pulled out the tea that Sheldon had sent her. Then a week later, Amy was bored. She was still barely talking to Penny and Leonard, so she felt out of options. She flipped through all of the channels on her TV, she scanned her bookshelf and her meager collection of DVDs. If Amy was being honest with herself, she really wanted to watch _E.T._ She got up and pulled out the Blu-Ray from the box and put it in.

Even the body powder got used when Amy noticed that Sheldon's scent had faded from his t-shirt. That was only after she had taken to wearing it to bed. Now, each time it was washed, it was also lightly dusted with the powder.

When Amy tried to ask Sheldon about the package during their next phone call, he just changed the subject. Their calls didn't last long, but when he hung up the phone, he said, "I'm sorry."

Exactly one month after the first package arrived, another one appeared. Amy was coming home from work when she noticed it. It was addressed to her and it also didn't have a return address, but Amy was sure it was from Sheldon. She took it upstairs and didn't hesitate to open it. She still hadn't really forgiven Sheldon for leaving, but at least he was still sending her his love.

Inside of this package was Amy's favorite chocolates, more tea, a book on quilting, and another t-shirt. This one displayed the emblem of the Green Lantern. Amy pulled everything out and set it on the counter. She was worried that there was no note, but it was at the bottom.

I'm sorry. Love, Sheldon

Amy smiled at the note this time. She also broke right into the chocolates instead of hiding everything back in the box. She also flipped through the book and spent part of her evening pretending that her boyfriend had brought these things in person.

Amy was surprised when she left to go see the gang the next day and there was another package there. She went over to pick it up, but it was clearly not from Sheldon. Though, the return address was a little surprising. The package was from Mary Cooper. Amy decided to open the box in the car. It was chocolate chip cookies with a note.

Dear Amy,

Shelly asked me to send you these cookies. I haven't heard from him much, but he left me a message asking me to send you some of my famous cookies because you might be a little down. I hope everything is going well between you two. I sent you enough that you can share with all of Shelly's little friends too.

Love,

Mary Cooper

Amy hid the note from Mary and decided to take the cookies with her. She didn't know why, but she hadn't told any of her friends about the packages from Sheldon. She liked having a secret with him. Maybe he was sending packages to everyone. That, Amy would rather not know. She liked the idea that she was the only one he was reaching out to.

The cookies were a hit with everyone, and Amy only told a little lie that Mary had sent her the cookies because she thought Amy might be sad. No mention of Sheldon needed. When Amy was getting ready to leave, Penny got up to give her a hug. They'd mostly patched things up. Amy was only a little mad that they had let Sheldon leave without even a goodbye.

"You smell like Sheldon. Weird," Penny said.

"It's his body powder. I bought some of it. I like the smell," Amy said. That wasn't even a lie. She'd long run out of the powder that Sheldon had sent her.

"Aw, sweetie. Are you okay?" Penny asked as she gave Amy another hug.

"I'm fine. It just helps me get by," Amy told her friend before she left. That was also true. She liked catching his scent every now and again.

Amy was pacing her apartment. It was exactly one month since the last package from Sheldon. She had spoken to him the day before, but he refused to answer her as to whether he would send another package or not. She wanted to go down and check her mail, but she knew there was no way that the mail was there yet. There was also the worry that no package would arrive. It wouldn't be the first time that Sheldon had let her down.

After a couple of hours, Amy went downstairs to her mailbox. She brightened when she saw the box sitting there. She went over to it and picked it up. The outside looked just like the outside of the others. She grabbed it and took it up to her apartment. In her excitement, she didn't even get the rest of her mail.

Amy opened the box and smiled. There was more tea, harp sheet music, Red Vines (which weren't Amy's favorite, but she knew Sheldon loved them), more chocolates, and another t-shirt. This one was a television test pattern on a light blue shirt. Below the shirt was a note that had the same four words that the others had.

I'm sorry. Love, Sheldon

Amy wished he was updating her on where he was and what he was doing and when he was coming back. Still, she was happy to receive word that he was okay and that he seemed to still care for her.

A week later, Amy went to go hang out with her friends. She was happy to see them. They were just having dinner, but she was expecting to have a good time. Amy grabbed the last of the chocolates from Sheldon on her way out the door. She smiled as she popped it into her mouth. She was feeling more cheerful than she had in a while.

Everyone seemed to notice Amy's good mood. They thought that she must be getting used to having Sheldon gone. At least they had their Amy back. That didn't mean that she was pleased when Raj accidentally spilled cranberry juice on her sweater.

"I'm all sticky now," Amy complained.

"I'm so sorry. I'll have it cleaned," Raj offered.

Amy didn't want to take off her sweater. "No. It's okay," she told him.

"I insist. I'll do it first thing tomorrow," he promised as he held out his hand to take it from her.

"I'm only wearing a t-shirt underneath," Amy said.

"It's just us," Penny said. "Don't worry about it. It can't be comfortable being all sticky like that."

It wasn't. The sweater was sticking to her arm where the juice was drying. She decided to take off the sweater and hope no one noticed that the t-shirt she was wearing hadn't always belonged to her. She had absolutely no luck in that department.

"Is that Sheldon's t-shirt?" Leonard asked as soon as he saw it.

"It was," Amy said. She pulled on the too big shirt. She hadn't been expecting anyone to see her wearing the newest shirt she had gotten from Sheldon.

Penny grabbed Amy's arm and pulled her away from the rest of the group. "Are you okay? I know you've been taking his absence pretty hard, but you had also been doing pretty well lately," Penny asked.

"I'm fine. I just miss him, and he gave me this. I didn't steal it or anything," Amy said pointing to the shirt she was wearing.

"Okay. Just checking in. You know you can call me any time you need, right, sweetie?" Penny said.

"Of course. Thank you," Amy said.

Amy sat back down for a while. Leonard was staring at her. After twenty minutes he said, "I could have sworn that was the shirt that Sheldon was wearing when he left."

"I haven't seen him, if that's what you are asking. I would have told you if I had seen him," Amy said. She believed that she would have told them all if she had really seen him. The care packages didn't really count. They were just a little lifeline between them.

"No. Of course not. Maybe he had more than one of those shirts," Leonard said with a shrug.

"Maybe," Amy said.

By the time the next package was due to arrive, Amy was starting to wonder when he would actually be home. Still, she was excited to go check her mail. Then Amy got to the lobby and saw that there was no package. She thought that maybe the mail hadn't come yet, but there was the usual assortment of junk and bills when she opened the box.

"Maybe it just got delayed," Amy assured herself. She was sure that it would come the next day. It was what she had to believe to get by. Still, it hurt that the box wasn't there. It was made harder by the fact that Sheldon hadn't called or answered her calls in nearly a week. Maybe he'd given up on her all together.

Amy decided to order some Chinese food. She didn't feel like cooking or even going out to pick anything up. When she scanned the menu, she wanted to get Sheldon's favorites. She just missed him so much. It didn't seem to be getting easier over time. Maybe the packages were just keeping the wound open instead of helping her heal.

After ordering, Amy decided to go change to relax in her apartment. She put on Sheldon's Flash t-shirt and a pair of pajama pants while she waited. She was in her room when there was a knock on the door. _That was fast_, Amy thought. She didn't even notice the knock patterns as she grabbed her wallet and opened the door.

Then she dropped her wallet when she saw who it was. Sheldon bent down and picked it up. He handed it back to her and she set it on the table next to the door. Then Amy just stared at him for a moment. She thought that maybe she was hallucinating his appearance at her door.

"You're back," Amy said. She hated the way that her voice broke as she said it.

"I am," Sheldon said. He pushed forward the box in his hand. "I thought I would deliver this one in person."

Amy took the box from Sheldon, but she didn't move from the doorway. She just kept staring at him. Eventually he said, "Do you mind if I come in for a moment?"

Amy nodded and took a step back. Sheldon walked in with his suitcase wheeling behind him. She hadn't noticed that before. "Didn't you go home first?"

"No. I needed to see you," Sheldon said.

"I'm not sure that I can forgive you for just leaving. I still love you, but I need some time," Amy said.

"I know. I learned a lot while I was gone, but I think the thing I came to understand the clearest is that I love you, Amy. It became clear to me that you are the most important person in my life," Sheldon said.

Amy had gotten the notes that said, "Love, Sheldon," but she still never really expected those words to come out of his mouth. She just sat down on her couch in shock. They were quiet for a while until there was another knock at the door. Sheldon got up and paid for Amy's food while she just sat in shock on the couch. She still couldn't really believe that he was there with her.

While Sheldon unpacked the food that Amy had ordered, she opened the box that he had brought her. It had a box of tea as usual, more candy, a book about monkeys, some lotion that Amy liked, one of his t-shirts, a note that said, "I'm sorry. Love, Sheldon," and a bag containing some of Sheldon's favorite personal products like shampoo, soap, and body powder among others.

"Are you leaving again? Is this so that I can smell like you some more?" Amy asked. She was crying as she stared at his offering.

"Those are for me to keep in your bathroom for when I stay the night sometimes," he said. "I'd prefer you smell like you. I like the way you smell," he added.

"Oh," Amy said. "Wait. What do you mean, stay the night sometimes?"

"I was planning on sleeping here sometimes. I will be lonely on my own, so while I am not ready to move in with you, I would like to sleep here on occasion," Sheldon said. "These are my favorites. Not yours. Did you order the wrong food? Should I call them back?" Sheldon added as he was getting ready to plate up Amy's food.

"No. That's what I ordered. When I didn't get a package in the mail today, I decided to order your food," Amy told him. She realized that this sounded a little pathetic, but she wasn't sure how much she cared. "Why don't you stay for dinner so that we can talk for a little while."

"Okay," Sheldon said. He put together a second plate before setting them both on Amy's small table. She got up and joined him.

"I still sort of feel like you aren't really here," she told him.

"I am here. I'll be here for a while," Sheldon said as he started eating his dinner. He had missed his usual Chinese food. He was glad that Amy ordered it even if it wasn't for him.

"Why haven't you been answering my calls?"

"I decided to come home, and I needed time to try to explain why I left," Sheldon said.

"And?" Amy asked.

"I still don't really know. I just needed time to sort things out," Sheldon said.

"Why did you send them?"

"I hurt you, and I wanted you to have a piece of me," Sheldon said. He wasn't really sure why he had sent the packages. He didn't say goodbye to her properly, and that hurt them both. At least he had said goodbye to Leonard and Penny. He'd felt stupid about three minutes after he got on that train that he hadn't seen Amy or kissed her goodbye. "I miss you, Amy. More than I missed my mom or Leonard or anyone. I think you'll always be tied to trains for me now. Between us sharing our first kiss on a train and the sheer amount of time I thought about you while riding trains, you and trains are the same to me."

"You love trains," Amy said quietly.

"And I love you," Sheldon said. "I mean it. I'm sorry that I left," he added.

"Well, if you give me a kiss, I'll start to think about forgiving you," Amy said.

Sheldon nodded seriously and kissed Amy. Then he pulled her into a hug. "You smell like me," he said after a moment.

"I know. I like it," Amy said as she hugged him back.

"I don't. I demand you switch back immediately," Sheldon said.

"You are not in the position to demand much of anything, Dr. Cooper," Amy told him.

"I know."


End file.
